I'm not a runner and have tried for years to build some endurance running. Yoga and Pilates are much more my thing, but I do enjoy, or did, running 5k races for a few years, more the camaraderie and enthusiasm of the events and that they typically raise money for a good cause. After having Sam though, high impact activities and I did not get along. To be blunt, I'd pee a little when running, which made it even more of a not-very-fun activity. My OB suggested surgery after I'd finished having kids- not currently helpful. After having another close to 9 lb baby, the situation has not gotten better.
Tonight, it was beautiful out and reminded me of all the nights I would run in college and in years past, and instead of going to the gym, I decided to enjoy the evening and go for a run. Running used to involve my iPod, a chip in my shoe that tracked my time and could be downloaded, an armband, good running shoes, and water, etc. Tonight, I was lucky to find a sports bra for this adventure and quickly downloaded a pedometer app to my iPhone (for which I obviously did not have a armband case to strap it safely to my body). In addition, I threw on a pair of Depends (yes, adult underwear left from all the afterbirth fun), and had my trusty nursing pads since I am breastfeeding. All in all, it was sexy. I told Chris I'd probably get hit by a car wearing Depends and nipple pads and would be mortified as well as injured.
I set out on an old route to see how far I could get. I have always tracked my runs in the past in miles, this time the ap tracked in kilometers, (I'm sure I could of switched it but not while attempting to run at dusk). Kilometers turned out to be much more motivating as they go by more quickly than miles, I should have thought of this years ago. Of course, after .66 kilometers the ap reset, or I hit a button checking how far I had run for the seventeenth time in 3 minutes. I hate not tracking my runs and felt like the electronics stole my hard earned kilometers. I ran down to the river, which, as I ran I realized was really mostly downhill. And the run became this strange place where the younger, pre-kids me ran with the new mother and I felt like I was in a bad pivotal moment in a book. I ran past places that have been rebuilt in my seven years here and had a series of realizations of how different things have become in my life.
Pre-Kids:
- all my running gear was accessible
- I had running outfits and gear (iPod, etc)
- I had worn-in running shoes
- I had time & could chose my time of day during which to run
- I knew the streets by distance and how much endurance I had
- my roommate and I used to run and get take out for dinner or meet up with people
- I'd often come in, cool down, and have a beer
Now
- running gear involves fluid leakage guards
- iPod has been missing for at least a year, as has chip to insert in shoe. iPod would probably also play Baby Beluga and Puff the Magic Dragon if it could be located
- I have blisters on the back of both feet from new sneakers I bought to walk with the kids
- I left when the kids were down for bed and came back to the baby crying to be nursed (as I was melting and ready to pass out from running) and then Sam waking up crying
- I know now the streets by the smoothness factor for stroller friendly travel and where it is safe for a 3 year old to ride a scooter
- above roommate also has a baby and moved out 5 years ago
- when I returned I had a screaming baby and no beer, and unfortunately had drank a glass of wine with dinner, before I knew I was going to run
Also, to complete this weird evening of comparison, I ran by (okay, she ran by me), one of those super sleek runners, probably a college student, who had the whole cute running ensemble going, shoes, spandex, the florescent shirts that are currently in, music device (probably more updated than an iPod). I swear I got the once over as she sped around the corner- (my Depends were probably visible, they are really high waisted for some reason). I wanted to tell her I used to be her- minus the sleek outfit and speed, but kind of like her. On the next block, no joke, I saw myself in twenty years, also sort of. A women in her late forties, early fifties, had probably had a few kids, power walking, which to be honest, would be much more my thing given that cardio is a necessary evil. She was also more put together than I was, which I hope when my kids are older I can regain. I wondered what she saw in me. Probably just an overheated, panting 30 something year-old trying to get up a hill.
I made it 4 kilometers total, which wasn't bad considering it had been at least a year and a half since I actually ran. I question whether these aps take into account the fact that most of the way back was uphill, or that there is a staircase mid-run as I cut across campus. I did run without stopping to walk, or collapse, though my face was a strange deep red and blotchy color when I was finished. When I was pregnant with Sam, I could run 4 miles in the middle of the summer, and still a few miles when I was 5 months pregnant. Times have definitely changed.
Small steps, big blisters, but small steps.
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