Slinky Order

 Lanie received a slinky as a birthday party favor, which she played with constantly and then insisted she should take to her friend's house. At her friend's house it was tangled up by his toddler brother. I told her she could replace it, and I would pay for half and she could pay for half with her allowance money.

Vivian and I took Jack out for a walk and left Lanie on Amazon to look at the Slinky choices, of which there are many. A huge downside to being a single mom is the limited amount of time I have to devote to anything unscheduled, particularly on a weeknight, which includes looking for Slinkies. We came back from the walk and she showed me the ones she liked and I ordered one.

A few days later I got a package from Amazon, opened it and found a giant Slinky, not the Slinky I had ordered. When I was alone with Lanie I took it out and asked her where it came from.

"Hmmm..." she replied, "Amazon?"

"Yes," I agreed, "it did. But who ordered it?"

"You?" she asked.

"No, I did not order it. Remember, you were looking at Slinkies when Vivian and I took Jack for a walk. So maybe you ordered it? And you need to tell me if you made a mistake and did."

"Nope. I didn't order it," she told me. 

"Well this is very mysterious," I told her. "You didn't order it, and I didn't order it and here it is."
"OH! I remember now," Lanie said, "Jack ordered it."

"Jack ordered it." I repeated. "That's strange, because Jack was on a walk with me."

"Right," she said pausing. "Then I was looking at the Slinkies and he ran right in and jumped on the iPad and it got ordered!"

"Uh huh." I can't win. I took the rest of her allowance money, (giant Slinkies are expensive) and called it a day. 

Ear Piercing

Vivian has been asking to get her ears pierced for a while, so I finally agreed. Unlike the days when you went to the mall to a Claire's Accessories or kiosk, now it's recommended to go to a tattoo parlor, where there are trained professionals and it's sanitary. So we went to a tattoo parlor, after booking three weeks in advance (who knew?), and got their ears pierced.

Instead of gold or silver studs, there is now a vast array of choices. They decided they wanted their birthstones, which of course Lanie's is a diamond, which I also didn't know.  And cleaning is no longer with rubbing alcohol but with saline spray twice a day. The earrings are also no longer in for 6-8 weeks, but instead for 4 months, with a post-change somewhere in the middle.

Vivian was fine, lying down (not sitting up), on the table and having the needle inserted in each side, it didn't seem to faze her. Although I have a distinct memory of sitting on her for a flu vaccine two years ago to hold her down. 

Lanie was much more affected and was crying and upset. I didn't actually think she'd get them pierced, I just took her because she wanted to go and maybe get it done. After the first one, it was a little touch and go as to whether the other one was actually going to get pierced, but she was determined.

So now Lanie looks like she has earrings to go to a cocktail party on her little 5-year-old ears and Vivian has some cool ones that I would wear.

Book Character Day

Book Character Day at Lanie's school for Read Across America Day, I got emails about it, put it in the calendar and obviously forgot until the night before, when Lanie was not at her best. She was supposed to wear a costume to show that she was a character from a book, that she also had to bring into school with her.

Everything Vivian and I suggested she dress up as, was immediately rejected. Such as:

"You could be Eloise, from the Eloise series." 

"NO."

From there it went downhill until we figured out the pattern. I instructed her to go into the dining room and "find a book with a character" that she could dress as.

So she did.

So I told her she would be "too cold," and pulled a pile of books that she could choose from. We read two books and then she went upstairs to "read them again," and I found her like this at 5:00 PM.

So Vivian and I put together some more acceptable choices (Vivian also wanted to have her hair curled, naturally at this point, which was 8:30 PM).

A bunny (the only book that exists in our house with a white bunny is about an Easter bunny).

Olivia the Pig, so cute, my first choice.

Ninja Red Riding Hood.

Sam's job was to talk her into wearing one of the outfits at that we had created, in the morning, so that I didn't have to make a new costume before school and work.

So I sent her to school dressed like an Easter Bunny for Book Character Day. I mean it's fictional. And better than Wonder Woman, in March, in Kindergarten.

Sam's job was to talk her into wearing one of the choices in the morning so that we didn't have to create a new costume in the morning. 

So I sent an Easter Bunny to school for Book Character day. 

Pediatrician Appointment

 Taking the girl's to their annual physical, which were scheduled together to save me a trip. Which is super helpful when they decide to be naughty together. 

Lanie as we wait for the doctor,"you know what would be a good idea? To hide from the doctor and pretend we're not here."

Vivian, "yes!"

They jump off the table and hide despite multiple requests for them to get up. The pediatrican actually walked in and said, "are they here?"

Easter

 Easter this year: 

Cool kids in their sunglasses, egg hunts, in all a good and not-too sugar-fueled day. We got to do two egg hunts, one here at the house and a second one at Nana and Grand Joe's. 

Sadly, it ended with the news of the second guinea pig dying. Piggie Pig, later know as Disco Steve, passed away. He was recently relocated to their Dad's apartment when I broke my hand and couldn't take care of him. Chris had to come and dig a hole as I realized that I couldn't do that with a healing hand. Vivian decorated his headstone and he was quickly buried as I realized I had a new sitter starting the next day and couldn't quite leave a dead pet for her to help bury.

In the Kitchen

 The kids went away with Chris and came back with a freshly laid egg. Which I didn't know about right away. When I discovered it (Vivian tearing into the kitchen at top speed, yelling, "it's cracked! I think it's hatching!"), we set up a spot for it, where I can keep an eye on it.

After a few texts to my brother who has actually raised chickens, it's doubtful it will hatch. Which is fine, since I really don't need a chicken, or duck, or goose, because they are all possibilities. 

The unclear part is what happened to the eggs that Lanie and Sam had, but I don't think they ever even made it to the car, so I'm not worry about them.

Clogged Toilets and Divorce

So Chris and I are getting divorced. It's been a long time coming, accelerated in some ways like everything probably, by Covid and the quarantine. Obviously it's not where I want to be, or how I want my kids to be raised, and is not an easy conclusion to come to, but here we are.

It's been a hard year and I'm now going at it solo, at least for the time being. Emotions have been running high, the kids are all handling things differently, between personalities and ages. Being in a place where they can only socialize minimally has made it more isolating and a lot more challenging. Sam has his friends more, as they are older and local, and independent in different ways. Vivian switched schools in September, to be in person as oppose to mostly remonte, and it has been a lot of changes for a little girl. Lanie is steadfast but needs reassurance and is figuring it out. She told me yesterday I couldn't have anymore birthdays because she needed me to never die (but that's a secret). 

We've all, meaning the kids, myself, and three animals, been plugging along trying to maintain. Mostly things seems reasonable and calm, and then all hell breaks loose. We've done lots of meltdowns, some hiding, a minor sledding accident, losing my keys, losing a kid here and there, even managed to poke Vivian's eye with the Christmas tree while taking it down. Or when Santa tried to enter Vivian's window on Christmas Eve, when a wild windstorm actually blew the top sash down, and I didn't notice for 3 days. Even after Vivian wouldn't sleep in her room because it was "too rattlely." We've done vet appointments, kid infections, and lots of corresponding with teachers. Mostly they've been super awesome at clogging toilets. Like every few days. Because really, I guess it's not a good bathroom experience unless you clog a toilet. Just for the record, baking soda and vinegar are purportedly helpful in breaking down human feces, but a plunger is really just more effective and efficient. The amount of toilet paper is also starting to get rationed, because I am also no longer pulling wads out.

 It's been a ride.

Thankfully my parents and sister have been around for emergencies and non-emergencies alike. For continuity, normalcy, and always food, and for the children, and some home repairs.

Basically what I've come to conclude is that this experience is kind of like a clogged toilet. Unpredictable and messy and really crappy. It's also taught me how amazing my kids and family are.  And how the children are little human beings who need their family in whatever shape or form that is, and how our blessings come in many ways. 

What Keeps me Going

 It's been a rough run, but these kids keep me going. Thank god for their sense of humor and for being able to turn around and catch the silly things in between the fights, laundry, cleaning and all the emotions.

The butt they made on the coffee maker.

Vivian's sponteaneous robot costume that she couldn't actually walk in.

All of Lanie's naps in various places.

When I can't actually get to Lanie because they've created a fort that I am not allowed to pass.

Lanie Found My Phone

 Always fun to see what the kids get up to when they find my phone.

Strawberry Picking

Strawberry picking this year was a little different than usual. Sam didn't come and it was hot. Wearing masks was required, so after being in the sun, it was a little much. The kids had to stay within arms length, 6 six feet away from other groups, etc, etc.

They lasted about an hour though and we got a lot of strawberries, which got mushy very quickly. Now we have lots of frozen berries for smoothies and popsicles!

Lanie's Drawings

Vivian has been drawing pictures and leaving them in people's rooms. Here is an example, a drawing of me that she left.

Lanie had a daytime nap the other day and woke up and said, that she "had a dream that told her to draw ugly pictures for all of us."

Lanie's drawing for Chris.

Lanie's drawing for me.

An additional drawing that I found.

Another.

Morning Reading

I love moments like these. Especially now, because I get five minutes to think and breathe.

Sam reading to his sisters and apparently also the dog.

Cinderella and the Bee

Lanie was dressed as Cinderella and decided to go outside to show Chris and Sam. However she encountered a bee on the porch as I was trying to take her photo.

Murder Hornet

Still quarantining for the most part and there was a huge bee or hornet in our kitchen right around the time we started hearing about Murder Hornets on the news. So naturally the kids left me to fend for myself. Every once in a while they would come by to ask if I had "gotten it yet?" 

Masks

All the masks. Viv likes to make them.