So Chris and I are getting divorced. It's been a long time coming, accelerated in some ways like everything probably, by Covid and the quarantine. Obviously it's not where I want to be, or how I want my kids to be raised, and is not an easy conclusion to come to, but here we are.
It's been a hard year and I'm now going at it solo, at least for the time being. Emotions have been running high, the kids are all handling things differently, between personalities and ages. Being in a place where they can only socialize minimally has made it more isolating and a lot more challenging. Sam has his friends more, as they are older and local, and independent in different ways. Vivian switched schools in September, to be in person as oppose to mostly remonte, and it has been a lot of changes for a little girl. Lanie is steadfast but needs reassurance and is figuring it out. She told me yesterday I couldn't have anymore birthdays because she needed me to never die (but that's a secret).
We've all, meaning the kids, myself, and three animals, been plugging along trying to maintain. Mostly things seems reasonable and calm, and then all hell breaks loose. We've done lots of meltdowns, some hiding, a minor sledding accident, losing my keys, losing a kid here and there, even managed to poke Vivian's eye with the Christmas tree while taking it down. Or when Santa tried to enter Vivian's window on Christmas Eve, when a wild windstorm actually blew the top sash down, and I didn't notice for 3 days. Even after Vivian wouldn't sleep in her room because it was "too rattlely." We've done vet appointments, kid infections, and lots of corresponding with teachers. Mostly they've been super awesome at clogging toilets. Like every few days. Because really, I guess it's not a good bathroom experience unless you clog a toilet. Just for the record, baking soda and vinegar are purportedly helpful in breaking down human feces, but a plunger is really just more effective and efficient. The amount of toilet paper is also starting to get rationed, because I am also no longer pulling wads out.
It's been a ride.
Thankfully my parents and sister have been around for emergencies and non-emergencies alike. For continuity, normalcy, and always food, and for the children, and some home repairs.
Basically what I've come to conclude is that this experience is kind of like a clogged toilet. Unpredictable and messy and really crappy. It's also taught me how amazing my kids and family are. And how the children are little human beings who need their family in whatever shape or form that is, and how our blessings come in many ways.
Misty morning at the beach.
